Saturday, November 15, 2008

To God From the Dog

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things, where I must remember to be a good Dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


Noah the Airedale said...

Crikey all the things on that list seem perfectly reasonable to me lol.

Noah x

Eric S. said...

LOL, what a great list you have there Gizmo. You want to come over and explain it to my Chi's, they get confused sometimes.

Lorenza said...

Hi, Gizmo!
Cat food?? Before and after?? Ha!
I hope you are having a great weekend
Kisses and hugs

The OP Pack said...

#4 is Phantom to perfectin - what is it with hm wanting to drag his snooter along the edge of the sofa?

And #6 and 7 really cracked Mom up.

That was great, Gizmo.

Woos, the OP Pack

Tony said...

Hey Gizmo, that list fits Dixie too

Elina said...

Please tell these things to my pets also.